"Rest"

This last week since Luke and I have been back at home has been wonderful! I am amazed at the love from family and friends who have made it possible for me to recover and enjoy getting acquainted with being a mom to three boys.

I had envisioned this time consisting of me peacefully sitting next to Calvin and Jack while playing trains and puzzles with Luke asleep on my lap....all the while, having my body healed and ready for a long walk within a week. Do I know my boys? Shouldn't I have remembered what it was like to recover from the last c-sections? Needless to say, I was wrong. That is not the definition of rest that God has given me for this time. Instead it is better...

Luke fills my heart with joy every time I look at him, feed him, and change his tiny little diaper.  I just can't get enough of this little man! God has freed me from so much anxiety that I felt in "getting it right" with Calvin and Jack, and I can sense just love coming through. I am so thankful for this ability to love him in this way.

Calvin and Jack have been pretty fussy... there are so many reasons to choose from.....less attention from me, feeling under the weather, being at home more than usual...you name it! So, we have not been peacefully sitting at home together reading books and coloring.

While I have not had that kind of rest, it has been fun to play with Calvin and Jack without worrying about what to cook for dinner or how I need to prepare for tutoring. I am fully present with them while we are together.  Ace and I took them to the pool a couple days ago, and I loved just watching them have so much fun!


I know that God is teaching me to find my ultimate rest in trusting Him with each of the boys through this transition. I can sense him steering me there, and I am so thankful that He has allowed me to enjoy my boys during this time that could easily be very stressful.